I have little to say but a desire to write. Today was pretty laid back I finally went and got stamps that I have needed since I was doing Christmas cards…I sent out my last 2 today. 
Yes a little late ok way late. I do not think that they will mind isn’t it that thought that counts. :[ I also applied for several jobs today. As I was looking for positions I came across one at a child care center and I found it curious to me that a child care center would explicitly say if you have a child that needs care please do not apply here. Really isn’t that discrimination?? I mean I understand that they may not have room…but someone who is just right for that job may be excluded because they don’t want mothers of small children to apply. I can’t wrap my head around it. Oh well my skills will find a better place to be I hope. I want to go back to working with babies mmm I love squishy babies…I just want to snuggle and love on them. 🙂
Now to move to a weightier subject…The air in my house was filled with arguments today, I woke up to the crinkle of a potato chip bag coming from downstairs I crept out of bed and tried to silently make my way to catch my daughter eating the chips. (she had quickly placed the bag in the garbage I am sure due to her hearing the floor boards creak) She has been getting out of bed and sneaking food before I wake up. Our arguing stemmed from the fact that everyday I fight with her about stealing food and going along with that is not listening. I don’t know what do…I am at a loss. I have talked with her about consequences I have discussed the danger of overeating and no matter what I say she is not listening or taking me seriously. Part of the reason I think this is a big deal is because she gained a pound in a month. Not only that but since I have an everyday battle with obesity I worry non-stop about her inheriting my bad habits.
I realize how hard my battle to have a child who’s only example is her obese mother is to be healthy and have good eating habits, but I have hope. I need some advice and help as to get past this phase of stealing food and sassiness before I pull my hair out. I have so many things in mind for my child and a life battling and eating disorder is not one of them. I truly believe that with a little bit of patience and support that I can figure out a way even for my 5 year-old to understand why health is such an important issue.  All in all I want to just figure this all out and move forward into the year finding a ways for us to both live healthier. This issue is so much deeper but I think I will save that for a different day. Tomorrow will be better.
Jenness
c/s
1/7/13
