As a parent I have had many epic fail moments…like Sunday when my daughter walked out in her 4th outfit (not what I told her to wear!!) of the morning while our ride my father was standing in the doorway waiting for us to go to church. As she walked around the corner in her 4TH HORRIBLE OUTFIT my frustration at the sight of her boiled over and I yelled what the h*** at the same time my foot got caught on a reusable grocery bag that I kicked down the hall trying to get it off my foot. My dad whisked her out the door I grabbed different clothes for her and rode to church in an angry silence after changing her while in her carseat on the way. Yep a pretty epic fail any time I lose it and swear at or in front of my daughter. Grr.
Today I think I count as a fail because I was working in Peanut’s class for a short time. The other teacher in the room had asked her not to pick up the other children 2 times I caught her the 3rd and asked her to “sit-out” (our nicer word for time-out) and she went into a fit. Crying and screaming over the circle time. THEN…she threw she shoes at me and screamed NO!! Ugh really?? I am at work and I am her teacher…grr and grr!!! I grabbed her hand took her to the next room and gave her my best you are in so much trouble you do not do this while I am at work or ever speech, told her when she was done screaming and throwing her fit she could come back to class…
My sweet wonderful child screamed in the hallway over the circle time for no less than ten minutes until the lead teacher asked me what happened and another one went to the hall to remedy the situation all the while I am trying to hold my composure and not let the my embarrassment and anger seep through my expression. Ugh what an epic parent and teacher fail. I should have asked one of the other teachers to deal with her from the get go. I let my anger rule instead of my logic in an attempt to curb her behavior when I should have just let it go. She did come in apologize and sit quietly in front of me the rest of the time but that was not of my accord.
So many times I have failed as a parent and I continually think wow I sure hope that she doesn’t remember this!! I have tried to give myself grace but it is so hard to remember sometimes. But then, I am only human and I have many more years to perfect my art right?? Being a parent to my child has been the hardest, funnest, silliest, most aggravating, rewarding, cry and laugh inducing experience of my life. I pray to God with everything in my that I keep my sense humor, a level head and a degree of adventure in mind through the rest of this journey because, my little spirited Latina (she may be only half Latin but she got the full measure of sass…though I may have had something to do with that as well.) has a lot of learning and life ahead of her and I need to be prepared for all of the wild ride. Well I better embrace it and enjoy it because time is not on my side her being grown is right around the corner. 😀