Tonight I am exhausted and my body is aching from head to toe…to say that this work week has been crazy would be a gross understatement!! Yesterday my co-worker decided to let the kids “play” with a concoction of shaving cream, cornstarch and blue paint. OH MY GOOD GRIEF!! She put it all on the table and then walked away from class for about 20 minutes. Upon her return we had smurf children I am not even slightly joking. My one year olds (who by the way were naked for this ordeal) had it in their hair, on their bellies and in their mouths. When she walked through the door she realized her adorable, horrific mistake as I had a baby in the sink scrubbing off head to toe blue. I then scrubbed 8 more kidlets clean after that. We spent nearly 2 hours cleaning up the mess. The best laid plans sometime go aria…
Though my days are wild and wooly I am still enjoying my job very much. But the stress levels have certainly increased and a lot of that is due to the things that have been going on personally in my life. The anxiety that I was trying to get under control is creeping back into my life. The last two weeks my face has been tingling and going numb again and my emotions have been riding high. I have had a measure of control over it and am recognizing the symptoms. Even with knowing and trying to combat anxiety I am so afraid that it is going to come back full force with all the stress that has been in my life. I am afraid that once again I will feel hopeless and lose all of the peace that I gained after my last episode. Also, I feel as though the stakes are higher because I am working full-time and cannot check out of life without consequences to my job which would again drastically affect my life.
This next week things are changing for Peanut and I and I think that the changes will be good. I made the decision to take Peanut out of the center that I work in to save money for moving and her eventual tuition come fall. So, I had to find care for her while I work and my gracious family is willing to help me out and for that I am so grateful!! People who love my Peanut 100% watching over her and she gets her much desired time with her family!!! A win win situation. 🙂 ❤
Their help does ease my anxiety a bit and hopefully I can keep managing and finding better coping mechanism so that a full-blown episode doesn’t come on. I know that God promises that I can do all things with Him as my strength and I am leaning on that to help me through all my tomorrows. Tomorrow will come and the sweet faces of the kids at work will help me keep sane. I am taking retreat in my job and the feelings of accomplishment I am feeling once again being a contributing member of society. Praise God for his continued blessings.