Traces of her everywhere yet I don’t see the beauty before me the mess is her distress…calling me begging to see how much she needs to be seen today I see her art her and I hand in hand never apart lying everywhere like love letters to my heart…when did this start how could I have pushed her aside damn my foolish pride…my tears are falling my Lord gave me a calling to train and protect to have a positive effect…this little life was but a loan how could I have let her groan the pain heavy on a crazy brain mom driven to distraction when all she was asking was but a fraction…of time to show her love that came from above…wake up and take notice she is a beautiful Lotus embrace the life that was sent to you and no longer will she have to stew…thank God he can renew the purpose He gave to you cherish the moments for in there brevity must come much productivity hoping to bring to her life her true meaning and purpose.
I write this to remember to truly see my daughter and to actively participate in her life I was walking through the house tonight pushing the mess aside when I realized that Lily had drawn pictures all over the house of her and I and the things in her life she spent the whole day trying to get my attention and in my purpose driven mind I ignored her cries to me for attention and love, for companionship and the simplicity of me stopping my day to actually spending quality time together. As I write this I have tears streaming down my face because far too often is this the case my baby needs her mommy and I am too distracted to see it. How could I not see that I was hurting the most wonderful and important person in my life. It is my job to mold her and shape her into the person she was meant to be, to help her get the best start possible so that she can face all the things that life is going to throw her way. Praise God for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chances. Praise God for the unconditional love of my 5 year-old!! I must humble myself ask for forgiveness and do it better everyday.
Please God show me the way and the path you have for us show me how to be a better mom and to show her everyday how special she is and how much I love her. Let your love shine through me.