Leah my lovely little sister called me yesterday and told me that my grandmother saw an ad for the Treasure Valley Weight Loss Challenge http://www.hdiabetescenter.org/ and she wanted me to participate. Later my mother emailed me and then texted me about the same thing. I talked with her on Facebook later in the evening and we discussed the issue. I wanted some time to think about it and pray about it because the entry fee is $50 (my parents offered to pay the entry fee) and I wanted to be sure that I could commit to it because I don’t want to waste my parents money or time if I felt like I couldn’t commit whole-heartedly to this challenge. I prayed about it talked with some friends today and was thinking that maybe I should give it a go. I was sitting talking to my lovely friend Abby this evening having just discussed this topic with her and the logistics of it when my door bell rang. It was my mother. I was shocked as she rarely if ever has just popped by my house. She walked into my house with a purpose she had paperwork in her hand and said that my grandmother was greatly distressed about my health (as is she) and really wanted me to do this challenge. She pulled out the paperwork and her checkbook and started explaining it all.
I was a little surprised and overwhelmed by it all to be honest…this is such a personal and deeply entrenched battle that I face. I am scared shit-less I don’t want to fail I want health. But I have history, genetics and years and years of bad habits and frankly laziness to contend with. To tie it up with a pretty little bow I also have serious emotional ties this battle. Much of my life I have felt like I had little control with the things and circumstances of my life. And in the beginning I have grown to understand that I began to eat what I wanted, as a measure to say to the things I couldn’t control look there is one thing I can control…the things that I put in my mouth. At the time I certainly didn’t think that consciously it was more of a release of stress. Many things have catapulted me to the place that I am at now. In the last few months I have realized that I have a need for change I need to get out of my comfort zone and to live healthier hence my New Years Resolutions.
I am going to do it I am going to enter the challenge and begin a new journey. With that being said I have no idea where to start I have dieted, exercised, lost weight and found some success in the past. But I have always gained it back plus more. I have made serious attempts but never succeeded. I am concerned about my follow through, I am concerned about the emotional baggage I have to wade through. I am concerned that I will fail and disappoint the people who want this so bad for me. But I want to move forward and try to finally begin to conquer this battle. I would greatly appreciate prayer support moral support and if anyone wants to join me in this journey (I posted the link above and you have till the 20th to register) I would love to have a workout buddy, healthy recipes, anything you want to share with me in regards to this I am open too. I am sure that I will be posting much of my journey here in my blog of my everyday life and I hope that it is well received.
P.S. I was thinking about posting a before picture what are your thoughts on it?? Frankly I am very scared at the thought but it certainly would be motivate and help me to have the courage to change that image with my behavior.