Day 4 Frustrated

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Today I am frustrated to the max and having a hard time dealing with the anger and anxiety that was produced today. I am not sure why unfairness and injustice are such a deep seeded pain in my heart and soul but I can barely breathe under the weight of these things…I have always attributed the best of intentions to people and their actions but over and over I find myself sorely disappointed and hurt. I realize that I should see things through the lens that God sees things through…the truth plainly is I am human a completely fallible, emotional, broken being. I am not perfect and I won’t even pretend to be; until I am sitting at the feet of Jesus that kind of perfection will never happen. I am extremely relational and was hard-wired in certain ways, and I do not feel the need to apologize for call it; nature or nurture or just plain how God made me. I am myself I try not to make excuses for bad behaviors and admit when I am wrong. All this equates to me having hurt feelings and anger about being put off and ignored. In the middle of writing this post I got a call from an unexpected source of encouragement…it helped me not only to see things in perspective a bit better but to understand that many times I forget my blessings…that these feelings and frustrations don’t diminish my value and contribution to people’s lives. I think a huge part of the problem is my expectations and also that I allow complications (in an effort to help someone) into my world that are unnecessary because I want to help and I am a people pleaser I sacrifice my time and money for the betterment of others without thinking about how that will affect my family in the long-term. I have such an impulsive nature and I have worked hard to curb the negative effects of this part of personality because of the consequences that I have had to live because of it. And these kinds of days bring up all the guilt and frustration of the past choices that still bring consequences to my life. I see a silver lining here (it’s hard, but I can see one)…God has allowed me a very forgiving nature, and he is showing me that my communication skills are being honed and improved all the time and that my some of my weakness’ are being used to improve my strengths. My favorite Bible verse is Revelations 21:4 I have clung to and been comforted by this verse many times in my life…“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Jenness

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About jennessjohnston78

Hello World my name is Jenness I have been blogging for a couple of years I have used my Embracing blog to help me carry my burdens and to discuss issues that are sometimes very heavy...I am a passionate and very opinionated person I appreciate the outlet that blogging affords me...I am a single mom and have many struggles that I battle in my life but I feel a call on my life to share my blessings and struggles. I pray that the words that I write make there way to people who can be touched by them and that someway, somehow God can use them to have a positive impact. I love writing and though I am not great at it I started the Journal Of The Everyday in an effort to hone my skills and learn new things about myself through writing...I have a pie in the sky idea of someday writing a book...A lofty goal I know...so thank you everyone who joins me on my journey by reading my blogs...I welcome comments and feedback. Here is to embracing the possibilities of everyday life. :)

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  1. Pingback: Day 4 Frustrated « Embracing Possibilities

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